drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
