"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
