wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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