Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
