Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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