I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
