And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
