The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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