there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Everything about him screamed your future.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
