Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
