I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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