She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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