So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i love accidental penises.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize