Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
