Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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