Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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