Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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