she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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