dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize