the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
