party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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