So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
