I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
