Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
