I'm jealous of your bromance
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the day after is always just damage control
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
