she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I believe in your delicious
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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