ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Do vagina's smell?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
