didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
