paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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