My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
FUCK WHALES
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
