I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
