She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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