So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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