hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
