also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
