Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
