Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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