i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
