she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
