You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
