If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize