I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
