i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
