your room smells of hookers.
And success
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
