something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
