when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
