Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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