Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
of course. lets lasso hookers.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
