Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
