No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
