I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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