Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
