You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
MIDGETS
????
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
