Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I think I sprained my soul last night
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
