Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
