please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
