Don't you send me to vm
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
