I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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