Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize