normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
