My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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