i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
