"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
