Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
