The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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