I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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